Chapter 5: Jay
Ever wonder if you had met certain people earlier, your life would have been better?
My friend and former colleague, Raj Nagra, told me I should meet Jay Jackson. “You two will bond.”
I wasn’t so sure. After leaving a job I shouldn’t have — teaching high school psychology — Jay took my place. (I was overly obsessed with finding the perfect teaching situation which, I would learn, doesn’t exist.)
My initial reaction was jealousy. Not only was Jay teaching my class, according to Raj, he was killing it.
A lesson I love is How to Overcome Jealousy.
“Tell the people you’re jealous of WHY you’re jealous. Not only is it an unexpected compliment for them — ‘Oh, my gosh, I wish I had your hair/height voice/jump shot/flair for math...’ — admitting it will help YOU. Coming clean about your envy to whom you envy mysteriously and magically diminishes it. I don’t know why. It just does. Try it!”
So I introduced myself to Jay, telling him that I heard he was “that teacher.”
I wasn’t lying.
Jay finds a way to turn what (to many high school students) is mundane and irrelevant into a compelling, life-improving experience.
Jay’s vital lesson is convincing kids to take those first tentative steps outside their comfort zones. His method is the difference between good and great teaching. He weaves a critical-for-fulfillment life lesson with a required slice of the curriculum.
Jay Jackson
For example, he has his students express the “10 most important parts of the French Revolution” in an interpretive dance.
It’s genius.
A lot of kids would rather swallow dirt than perform in front of their peers. But, because it’s for a grade, and because Jay isn’t expecting them to be Misty Copeland, many kids will try. And when they do, and “survive,” they feel a high they haven’t felt before. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll be motivated to do uncomfortable things without a prodding from Jay. Or anyone else.
They might also learn what I’ve learned. That another sweet benefit from leaving my comfort zone is returning to it. We appreciate comfort more when we don’t always have it. It’s like when I force myself to take a (“studies show”) healthy cold shower. Afterward, I appreciate warm water so much more.
My trip was mostly uncomfortable. A natural introvert, I feel anxious during the moments before I meet up with friends, let alone strangers. I prefer ritual and routine. I’m comfortable with the familiar. (I don’t think this makes me an outlier.)
But as Jay says, “No great stories come from lying on the couch watching Netflix.”
Because I was mostly uncomfortable, my expedition gifted me with stories. I don’t know if they’re great, but my yearning to share them may mean they’re interesting. Or at least have value.
If Jay had been my teacher when I was 15, 25 or even 45, if I had studied comfort zones, I may have tried more. Done more. Withdrawn less. If I had sought discomfort instead of comfort, I bet my life would have been richer.
One of the reasons I became a teacher (which is probably the case with a lot of teachers) is a powerful drive to share what I learn. Sometimes that means sharing what worked. Often, though, it means sharing what didn’t.
I don’t want my kids to make my mistakes. If they don’t — if (a big if) they listen and learn from me, and don’t repeat my missteps — it reduces my shame and regret. (Which may be selfish, but whatever.)
Yeah, there’s some. “Do what I did.” But there’s a lot more, “Don’t do what I did. Try something else. Try this:
“Try busting out of your comfort zone a lot more than I did.”
Lessons from Jay
* Teaching curriculum and life simultaneously should be every teacher’s goal. Doing it requires a kind of creative thought that teachers aren’t typically taught. For example, “How can I teach my students about the French Revolution and the importance of leaving their comfort zone at the same time?” Magical teachers, teachers like Jay, find a way.
* Duh! Leave your comfort zone.
